Have you found yourself doing things or taking actions that are not in alignment with your highest good?
Have you ever played a part that was not the full expression of you to gain someone else’s approval or to make someone like you?
Have you ever settled for less because of some part of you that believed there was nothing better out there?
Have you ever stayed quiet to avoid confrontation when you know you should’ve spoken up?
A key component of Synergy Unlimited’s success with ease and grace philosophy is as Aretha Franklin sings, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Since all respect is self-respect how can we respect ourselves and experience unconditional love for ourselves regardless of other peoples wants or desires?
I recently had a challenging situation with my new neighbor. I live in this amazing duplex that I manifested right on the beach in Venice. It is heaven on earth to wake up to the waves and jog on the beach at sunrise and by moonlight. The only challenge is, which I neglected to specify in my manifestation, please allow my neighbors to be nice and friendly. I remember the first words out of my neighbor's mouth when I walked in were, "Here is the bill for the utilities we can hear Everything and by the way, we don’t have to be friends but let’s be friendly. Whoa! I was like, "Hello to you too!" As it turns out, I live next door to Debbie Downer.
Do you remember the Saturday Day Night Live skit with Debbie Downer? Everything you would say, she would come back with a negative response that could put a dark cloud on your sunny day if you let it. For example, I could say "I am so excited to have this great job as a Spiritual Counselor". Debbie’s response, "Oh what at drag listening to people’s problems all the time… how draining”. Or "I am so excited about this new speaking gig in Washington State". Debbie’s response “It must be a drag having to fly and go through all that horrible airport security. And with all the new terrorists plots you must be worried for your life all the time.” You get my point. Debbie Downer would find the negative in everything! Needless to say, that is why I go by Deborah or Deb so as to not cause any mistaken identity.
Over the holidays I had some time off and was home for two weeks to relax and take a staycation at my lovely Venice Beach home. I really was looking forward to sleeping in but, unfortunately, Debbie Downer took to pounding on the ceiling and slamming doors at 6am. The noise would get louder when I had the fan on in the bathroom or if I used the blender in the kitchen. Later, she started waking up at 4:30am and slamming doors and pounding intentionally and maliciously. After two nights of NO sleep I was going stir-crazy! I wanted to talk to her but with my work hours it was next to impossible and quite honestly, I was scared of the confrontation that probably would have resulted. However, the universe had a divine way of fixing that.
My running partner Milton and I were at the track doing speed work and low and behold, who was there running? Debbie Downer. That’s right, Debbie. She was on the track face to face with me. I took a deep breath and said hello and her reply back was, “Eeeewh”! Wow, what a response! I was shocked! My first reaction was to go off on her right there on the track. Instead, I opted to take a lap around to gather my bearings.
One of the tools I share when I speak is my PERR principle. The RR is about shifting from Reacting from impulse to Responding from intuition. My reaction was to respond to her incivility with rudeness. My response from my intuition was to have compassion for her as a 36 year old woman who would greet me in such a manner, must clearly be in a great deal of pain. To further solidify and commit to my sympathetic response, I had to reach out to several of my Spiritual Counselor/Prayer Partners for support. They asked me what was needed in that situation and I kept hearing heard the word, Respect.
They asked me where in my life had I been disrespecting myself. I could see how some of my choices in my self-care were not in alignment with the respect I know I deserve. This realization led me to feel relieved because I knew that I could not will Debbie Downer to change. I could pray for her highest good which, by the way, instantly stopped the banging. (I am crying with gratitude to be able to sleep through the night again. I also felt empowered because I could change my behavior, perceptions and actions where I was powerless over her actions.
The lesson in this situation was to resume respecting myself in minor and massive ways so this lower vibration could not correspond to my field. Knowing that thoughts are energy and if I had any shame, thoughts or guilt it was being corresponded to with punishment by my angel of clarity whom I call, Debbie Downer.
How can you respect yourself more in this month of self-love in both little and big ways? Email me deb@passionatelivingnow.com
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